This month's strawberry full moon is heating things up in the love department
This month’s Strawberry full moon brings with it a sweet and sultry wave of romance that has been waiting in the wings to burst out of lockdown. With the winter solstice taking place later this month, it is finally time to break free of the shackles and spur into action. Romantic action.
Aries
Being bold and bordering on brutish will for once count in your favour. Fly that scarlet flag high at a nearby library. Sink your anchor before you have a chance to swim free and you may just be netting in the catch of the day.
Taurus
It’s time to dust off the cowboy boots and get in line at the grocery store because the clock has just struck midnight. It’s dance fever all the way and it’s best you get hopping before the barman calls last round. Think about it, if the ducklings won’t come to you how about you go after some wild geese?
Gemini
Frolicking poolside with a water bae has your name written all over it. Some much needed vitamin D is the prescription of the day. Slather on the sunscreen, rinse in glistening water and repeat is the only romance recipe you’ll be needing to set the canary free.
Cancer
Leave the shell at home and try some skinny-dipping at your local watering hole. Bottoms up and you’ll soon be going down the hatch.
Leo
A night of glitz and glamour at the theatre is the perfect setting for a romantic rendezvous. Grab that eye candy that you’ve been mentally unwrapping for the past 6 months and throw some coins into the fountain.
Virgo
A picturesque picnic under a plum tree is just what you need to shake off the quarantine cobwebs. Don’t be afraid of half done mushrooms. Cold feet are for penguins.
Libra
You’ve been bouncing around from room to room and now it’s finally time to convert all that kinetic energy into something mechanical. The race track will get your heart beating from 0 to 100 in two shakes of a koala’s tail.
Scorpio
Uhm no. Change the flat tyre and get back onto the highway. A bird is always migrating so use a compass.
Sagittarius
A his and hers spa day will be the perfect thing to turn up the heat on a fizzled out romance. Take the time to make the booking. It’s the first step in getting a spa treatment.
Capricorn
If music be the food of love, go on and get those Matthew Mole tickets. It’s what the country mouse would do and you’ll be heading directly for the barn.
Aquarius
A round of darts and you’re sure to be scoring. Some earl grey and cherry cigars never hurt anybody. A clementine a day makes you feel the same way.
Pisces
You’re not your housekeeper’s keeper so stop behaving like you are. Do your homework and figure out if your happiness is worth a tub of sour worms.
P.S. Just in case you didn't get the memo, this isn't a "real" horoscope reading (if such exists). It's a satirical piece inspired by the nonsensicalness (yes, this is a word) of "real" horoscope readings.